No Hard Feelings by Blazers Mill - Emotionally Honest Greeting Cards

Holiday Cards

Delightfully humous cards to bring cheer to all the holidays.  

halloween CARDS

This collection celebrates the weird, funny, chaotic side of spooky season with sarcasm, nostalgia, horror references, and just enough
emotional instability to feel festive.
I Ain't Gay
$6.00

A chaotic throwback to early 2000s comedy and one of the most iconic parody movie moments of all time, Scary Movie. Featuring a horror movie-inspired Scream character in a red hoodie, this funny Halloween card is perfect for horror fans, comedy lovers, and anyone whose sense of humor was permanently shaped by ridiculous movie quotes. Equal parts nostalgic, absurd, and wildly inappropriate in the best way.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. This nostalgic Halloween card features the message "What?! I Ain’t Gay." Turquoise and candy corn background . Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

I Ain’t Gay
Holiday/Halloween
$6

Pure Stubbornness
$6.00

Featuring a bold orange background with playful ghosts and a black-and-white halftone illustration of a headphone-wearing girl unapologetically flipping off the viewer, this card delivers the perfect blend of spooky season, sarcasm, and friendship with the message: "You'd survive a horror movie out of pure stubbornness. Unless I was there too, and well, sorry."

Perfect for your horror movie buddy, your best friend with main-character energy, or anyone who appreciates dark humor and a little playful roasting. Whether you're celebrating Halloween or simply reminding someone they're your favorite partner in bad decisions, this card is equal parts creepy, hilarious, and weirdly affectionate. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Pure Stubbornness
Holiday/Halloween
$6

Creep it Real
$6.00

Some jokes are so wonderfully terrible, they're impossible not to appreciate. This funny Halloween greeting card features a brightly colored monster and the delightfully groan-worthy message, "Creep it Real." It's the kind of bad dad joke that earns an eye roll, followed immediately by a laugh.

Perfect for monster lovers, Halloween enthusiasts, pun fans, and anyone who appreciates humor that's equal parts cheesy and clever, this playful card brings a lighthearted twist to spooky season. Whether you're sending Halloween wishes to a friend, coworker, family member, or your favorite pun-loving weirdo, it's a fun reminder that sometimes the simplest jokes are the ones that stick.

Blank inside for your own Halloween message, terrible puns, or words of encouragement from one lovable monster to another.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Hex Your Ex
$6.00

Breakups are hard. Being a supportive best friend is hard. Accidentally daydreaming about harmless revenge while eating Halloween candy? Completely understandable.

Featuring a stylish witch atop her broom against a playful pink background with orange dots, this funny Halloween greeting card delivers the perfectly unreasonable advice: "Now seems like a perfectly acceptable time to hex your ex." Equal parts sassy and supportive, it's a playful way to help a friend laugh through heartbreak, bad dating decisions, and the emotional roller coaster that comes with letting go of someone who probably wasn't all that great to begin with.

Perfect for best friends, sisters, roommates, and anyone navigating the aftermath of a breakup with humor, snacks, and a healthy appreciation for witchy energy. Because while we don't actually recommend hexing anyone, sometimes it's nice to know your friends understand the temptation.

Blank inside for your own words of encouragement, solidarity, or completely hypothetical spell recommendations.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Hex Your Ex
Holiday/Halloween
$6

Creep it Real
Holiday/Halloween
$6

THANKSGIVING CARDS

Our Thanksgiving cards cover the full holiday spectrum, from family drama and questionable advice, to mildly inappropriate turkey-day humor and absurd nostalgia.
Side Dish & Issues
$6.00

Some families bring mashed potatoes. Others bring decades of emotional baggage. This funny Thanksgiving greeting card features a colorful monkey juggling a collection of emoji faces against a playful pink and blue background, perfectly capturing the emotional balancing act that is Thanksgiving dinner.

With the message, "Thanksgiving: where everyone brings a side dish & unresolved issues. Happy Thanksgiving," this card is made for anyone who's mastered the art of smiling through awkward conversations, changing the subject, and reaching for another dinner roll. It's sarcastic, relatable, and just absurd enough to make everyone at the table laugh... or at least knowingly nod.

Blank inside for your own Thanksgiving wishes, family updates, or a reminder that pie is an acceptable coping mechanism.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Side Dish & Issues
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$6

Stu-u-u-pendous
$6.00

Some Thanksgiving traditions make perfect sense. Canned cranberry sauce that slides out in one piece and jiggles like it's alive? That's still up for debate.

Featuring everyone's favorite purple dinosaur (or at least a hilariously familiar parody) hula-hooping on top of a glorious cylinder of canned cranberry jelly, this funny Thanksgiving card delivers the unforgettable advice: "Stu-u-u-pedous Turkey Day Advice: Don't look directly at the cranberry when it jiggles. I don't trust it!" It's a perfect dose of nostalgic absurdity for anyone who grew up watching Barney—or lovingly endured countless episodes because their kids did. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Stu-u-u-pendous
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$6

May Your Pie Be Bigger
$6.00

Every family has that one recipe everyone fights over... and that one relative everyone tries to avoid. This funny Thanksgiving greeting card features a sweet vintage grandma proudly presenting a homemade pie with the delightfully optimistic wish: "May your pie be bigger than your family drama. Happy Thanksgiving."

Perfect for friends, siblings, hosts, neighbors, coworkers, or anyone who's survived a holiday dinner with both extra whipped cream and extra opinions. Equal parts nostalgic, sarcastic, and heartwarming, this card is a reminder that when all else fails, there's always pie.

Blank inside for your own Thanksgiving wishes, words of gratitude, or encouragement to grab dessert before the family starts arguing.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Talk Turkey to Me
$6.00

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, good food, and the occasional shameless turkey flirtation. This cheeky Thanksgiving greeting card features a glamorous lady turkey in fishnet stockings and high heels, looking over her shoulder with a glass of "gravy" in hand, delivering the unforgettable line: "Talk Turkey To Me. Happy Thanksgiving to You."

Perfect for a husband, boyfriend, partner, best friend, or anyone who appreciates a clever double entendre and a good holiday laugh. It's playful, a little flirty, and just the right amount of ridiculous to stand out from the sea of traditional Thanksgiving cards.

Blank inside for your own Thanksgiving wishes, flirtatious note, or reminder that seconds are always encouraged.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Talk Turkey to Me
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$6

May Your Pie Be Bigger
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$6

Gastrointestinal Consequences
$6.00

Thanksgiving is all about gratitude... and testing the upper limits of the human digestive system. Perfect for friends, family members, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates sarcastic holiday humor, this card celebrates the glorious chaos of Thanksgiving with a healthy dose of honesty. Whether it's the stuffing, the pie, or Uncle Bob insisting you try his "secret recipe," some traditions are simply unavoidable.

This funny Thanksgiving greeting card features a vintage-style turkey with the painfully relatable message, "Family, Food and Gastrointestinal Consequences... Happy Thanksgiving." Because no holiday combines second helpings, awkward family conversations, and questionable food choices quite like Turkey Day. Blank inside for your own Thanksgiving wishes, food confessions, or a reminder to save room for dessert... and maybe an antacid.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Gastrointestinal Consequences
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$6

CHRISTMAS CARDS

Whether you're feeling festive, financially concerned or emotionally fragile, our Christmas collection leans into what the holiday is actually like and somehow still finds reasons to laugh.
Cheaper Groceries
$6.00

Some Christmas wishes are ambitious. Others are downright impossible.

Featuring a bold risograph-style illustration inspired by everyone's favorite Texas grocery store, this funny Christmas greeting card delivers the painfully relatable message: "All I Want for Christmas is... Cheaper Groceries. I hope you want something more realistic." Because these days, a full shopping cart feels like a luxury gift.

Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and especially fellow Texans who know the joy of an H-E-B run, this sarcastic holiday card pokes fun at rising grocery prices without losing its holiday spirit. It's honest, clever, and guaranteed to get a laugh from anyone who's recently looked at their grocery receipt.

Blank inside for your own Christmas wishes, holiday humor, or a reminder that love is free... thankfully.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Cheaper Groceries
Holiday/Christmas
$6

Decorative Snowman
$6.00

Sometimes the holidays are magical. Sometimes you're one sentimental Christmas decoration away from having a full-blown emotional support snowman.

Featuring a charming snowman and the delightfully relatable message, "I have become emotionally attached to this decorative snowman. Merry Christmas," this funny holiday greeting card celebrates the wonderfully weird side of Christmas. It's for the people who cry over nostalgic ornaments, refuse to throw away decorations from 1997, and somehow end up emotionally invested in an inanimate object every December.

Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who's equal parts festive, sentimental, and just a little emotionally fragile during the holidays. Sweet, silly, and refreshingly honest, this card reminds us that if loving a decorative snowman is wrong... maybe we don't want to be right.

Blank inside for your own Christmas wishes, heartfelt note, or confession about the holiday decoration you're definitely taking with you if the house catches fire.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Decorative Snowman
Holiday/Christmas
$6

Define Nice
$6.00

Not everyone ends up on Santa's Nice List... and honestly, that's part of the fun. This funny Christmas greeting card features a confused-looking Santa holding his gift bag alongside the question, "Dear Santa, Define Nice." It's the perfect wink for anyone whose holiday spirit comes with a little sarcasm, a little mischief, and just enough plausible deniability.

Whether you're giving it to your spouse, partner, crush, best friend, or your favorite partner-in-crime, this playful Christmas card keeps things cheeky without taking itself too seriously. Equal parts festive and flirty, it's a fun reminder that "nice" is open to interpretation.

Blank inside for your own Christmas wishes, questionable promises, or a heartfelt reminder that you'll try to behave next year.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Define Nice
Holiday/Christmas
$6

Drunk Enough
$6.00

Christmas is a magical time of year... right up until everyone arrives. This funny Christmas greeting card features a delightfully bizarre vintage illustration of people playing musical instruments on the moon, paired with the painfully relatable message: "I hope you get drunk enough to tolerate everyone. Merry Christmas."

Perfect for friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone who's bracing for awkward conversations, unsolicited opinions, and that one family member who somehow turns Christmas dinner into a debate. It's sarcastic, honest, and a little absurd—because sometimes surviving the holidays deserves its own celebration.

Blank inside for your own holiday wishes, family survival tips, or a reminder that dessert and an early bedtime are perfectly acceptable coping strategies.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Drunk Enough
Holiday/Christmas
$6

This Card Counts as Foreplay
$6.00

Between the shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping, traveling, and pretending you're not completely exhausted, Christmas has a funny way of draining... just about everything.

Featuring playful illustrations of a man and woman in Santa hats, this funny Christmas greeting card delivers the perfectly honest message: "This card counts as foreplay. Merry Christmas." It's a cheeky nod to couples who know that by the time Christmas rolls around, surviving the holidays together is practically a love language.

Perfect for husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or partners who appreciate a little flirtation mixed with a healthy dose of reality. Sweet, silly, and just a little naughty, this card proves that sometimes lowering expectations is the most romantic gift of all.

Blank inside for your own Christmas wishes, love note, or coupon redeemable after everyone finally leaves.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

This Card Counts as Foreplay
Holiday/Christmas
$6

Sensory Limits
$6.00

Christmas is magical... until you've wrapped the 47th present, answered the same question six times, and realized you've been listening to the same holiday playlist since Thanksgiving.

This funny Christmas greeting card features a delightfully overwhelmed gingerbread man soaking in a mug of milk while clutching a well-earned glass of wine. With the message, "Merry Christmas from someone reaching their sensory limits," it's the perfect holiday card for moms, wives, best friends, coworkers, or anyone whose Christmas spirit occasionally gets buried under the noise, the crowds, and the endless to-do list.

Blank inside for your own Christmas wishes, words of encouragement, or an invitation to hide in the pantry for five minutes.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Sensory Limits
Holiday/Christmas
$6

VALENTINES DAY CARDS

Valentine’s Day cards that say “I love you” without sounding like a greeting card robot.
Honest, a little sarcastic, and actually meaningful cards for partners, crushes, and long-term situationships.
Nice Rack
$6.00

This Valentine's Day Card is intended for a woman, from a man, with the message "Nice Rack...on the Wall, Obviously." Black and white deer drawing and faded graphic camo background. If you're a serious deer hunter, this card would be a great Valentine's Day card for your spouse or girlfriend.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Funny Valentine's Day Card for Deer Hunter Spouse Best Friend Humorous Valentine's Card Message Slightly Crude Sense of Humor Deer Drawing Style

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Nice Rack
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$6

Don't Make it Weird
$6.00

We all have our special person. Tell your spouse or significant other they’re yours this Valentine's Day with this funny, slightly sarcastic card.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Humorous card with a cute Corgi dog covered in hearts. Background is bright pink squiggles and has the message “You’re my person. Don’t make it weird.”

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Don’t Make it Weird
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$6

I'd Choose You Again
$6.00

This funny Valentine's Day Card is perfect for those over 40, because hearing stories of those in the current dating scene just sounds exhausting. Let your spouse or significant other know this holiday that they have nothing to worry about.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Humorous card with a vintage illustration of a sweet boy and girl sitting at a pond watching ducks, overlayed with a hand sketch. Background is pink squiggles with hearts. Has the message “I’d choose you again. Mostly because starting over sounds exhausting.”

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

I’d Choose You Again
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$6

Deer Mount
$6.00

Tell your deer hunting man you love him with this camo & deer Valentine's Day risque (or raunchy) card, complete with the phrase, "You're the only thing I want to mount this year." If your spouse, boyfriend, or current lover likes hunting and humor, this is the card for you.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Funny Valentine's Day Card for Deer Hunter Spouse Best Friend Humorous Valentine's Card Message Slightly Crude Sense of Humor Deer Head Mount Silhouette

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Mount
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$6

mothers day cards

Mother’s Day cards that skip the clichés and say something real - whether that’s love, gratitude, sarcasm, or all three.
The Circus
$6.00

Say thanks mom & Happy Mother’s Day with this circus theme funny card for mom. Now that you’re old enough to look back on what it was like, you might understand and be grateful she didn’t sell you to the circus.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a bold vintage style graphic of a woman holding a megaphone, and the words “Thanks for not selling me to the circus.” The background is yellow with white swirls.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

The Circus
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$6

You Were Right
$6.00

Tell mom you realize she was right and Happy Mother’s Day with this funny sarcastic and humorous card for moms day.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a woman in vintage dress on a bull with balloons, and the words “You were right about almost everything, don’t get used to it.” The background is salmon with off-white swirls.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

You Were Right
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$6

Thanks for Pretending
$6.00

Some moms keep sane by looking the other way. Also known as burying your head in the sand, sometimes a mom just has to pretend she doesn’t see things happening. This card is for mom who loves the beach, or a mom who loves birds, or a gift for the best mom in the world.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a beach seagull, sticking its head in a wooden fence post, covered by a light green mask graphic, and the words “Thanks for pretending not to notice everything.” The background is purple with stylized, graphic leaves.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Thanks for Pretending
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$6

We Both Know
$6.00

Wish mom a Happy Mother’s Day, even though you were a hard to manage or wild child. If you were the black sheep of the family, your mom deserves 2 cards! Now, if you are a hard to manage adult, maybe that’s therapy.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a hand-drawn sketch over a vintage illustrated man on a wild yellow magical bird, and the words “Mom, Thank You! We both know I was the difficult one.” Background is pink with strawberry hearts with silly faces.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

We Both Know
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$6

fathers day cards

Because fatherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither are these cards. 
A mix of heartfelt, funny, and refreshingly unfiltered for the dads, stapdads, dad figures, and anyone else who showed up when it mattered.
10/10 Recommend
$6.00

Tell your baseball loving fan dad Happy Father’s Day with this light-hearted and sarcastic red and teal card.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a vintage-style baseball player graphic, and the words “10/10 I would recommend.” The background is red, white, beige, and teal/turquoise.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

10/10 Recommend
Holiday/Father’s Day
$6

I Get it Now
$6.00

Let all the mustache sporting camping lovers know you appreciate their sacrifices this Father’s Day with this vintage graphic dad card.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a vintage-style graphic of father and son camping, and the words “I get it now. Annoying!” The background is yellow creme with a white mustache pattern.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

I Get it Now
Holiday/Father’s Day
$6

Manageable
$6.00

Don’t know what to tell your bigfoot loving dad this Father’s Day? Tell him he makes it look…manageable with this humorous card. It’s no fluff and straight to the point.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a funny bigfoot sasquach, and the words “You make it look… manageable.” The background is light blue, turquoise with white doodle lines.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Manageable
Holiday/Father’s Day
$6

Stepdad Aisle
$6.00

Fishing lover coastal stepdads deserve a Happy Father’s Day, too. Let him know you tried with this humorous and sarcastic card.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. The front of this card features a bigmouth bass, and the words “The stepdad card aisle sucks. I tried. Love and thank you. Enjoy the fish.” The background is green with dark blue squiggles.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Stepdad Aisle
Holiday/Father’s Day
$6

MISCELLANOUS HOLIDAY CARDS

All the holidays that didn’t get their own category—yet. A growing collection of cards for moments that still matter.
Cat Over People
$6.00

Some opinions matter more than others—and we both know the cat’s is at the top of the list. This funny cat card is perfect for friends who share the same priorities, the same sense of humor, and a healthy distrust of most people. Great for everyday moments, inside jokes, or celebrating National Cat Day in August.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. This funny everyday pink card features a silly cat drawing wearing rainbow sunglasses and a crown, with the message "We both trust the cat over most people." Pink background. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Cat Over People
Holiday/National Cat Day
$6

No One is Watching
$6.00

This National Ice Cream Day card is for the ones who opt out of performing and opt into ice cream instead. A little absurd, a little freeing, and fully justified… and a reminder that not every decision needs approval. Especially the ones involving dessert.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Humorous and silly National Ice Cream Day card has a child enjoying an ice cream popsicle and not caring what they look like, with the message "Ice Cream Day! Eat like no one is watching. Not everyone will get it." Light colored lime green pistachio background with ice cream popsicles. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

No One is Watching
Holiday/National Ice Cream Day
$6

Easter is Proof
$6.00

The Easter bunny is here to remind us that chocolate is a perfectly acceptable coping strategy. Have to spend the day with in-laws or too many screaming kids? Hide some extra eggs for yourself, or hell, just hide the bag in a bush. This card is for all those who feel the same.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Humorous Easter card with a graphic halftone Easter bunny with the message "Easter is proof that chocolate is a valid coping strategy." Light colored background with carrots and assorted polka dots. Vintage and collage-inspired design. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Got My Rainbow Card
$6.00

For the last few years, someone was holding Mr. Leprechaun's rainbow hostage... but he finally got it back! So he's happily dancing and wishing everyone a Happy St. Patrick's Day. Great for a friend, buddy, or coworker with a sense of humor.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. Humorous Saint Patrick's Day card with a dancing leprechaun, saying "I got my rainbow back! Happy St. Patrick's Day." Rainbow is in the background. Vintage and collage-inspired design. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Got My Rainbow
Holiday/St. Patrick’s Day
$6

Easter is Proof
Holiday/Easter
$6

If Only
$6.00

Honestly, dogs may have the right idea. This outrageous and funny International Dog Day card leans fully into the chaos, celebrating the weird, gross, lovable habits that make dogs iconic. Perfect for dog lovers with an unhinged sense of humor and a deep appreciation for creatures who truly do not care what anyone thinks.

Don't know what to say? Don't know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but afraid to. This hilarious International Dog Day card celebrates the chaotic lifestyle choices we secretly admire most, through the eyes of a very cool dog in sunglasses. It features the message "If only it were socially acceptable to: 1) smell like a skunk, 2) smell eachother's butts, 3) lick eachother's privates, 4) never wear clothes, 5) eat litter covered cat shit. Happy Dog Day!" Orange background with light orange uneven horizontal lines. Blank inside.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

If Only
Holiday/International Dog Day
$6

Xanax & SSRI's
$6.00

This funny Boss's Day greeting card (Fri Oct 16, 2026) is for the rare leader who's somehow managed to keep the workplace (mostly) sane.

Featuring a bright yellow-orange design with colorful pills, a mischievous devil illustration, and the message, "I keep my resume updated just in case you start taking Xanax and SSRIs. Happy Boss's Day!", this card pokes fun at modern workplace stress, burnout, and the unspoken fear that if the boss ever loses it... everyone else is updating LinkedIn by lunch.

Perfect for bosses with a great sense of humor, supportive managers, small business owners, and work teams who appreciate sarcastic office humor and know that laughter is sometimes the best coping mechanism. Blank inside for your own message of appreciation, gratitude, or one last reminder that you're totally kidding.

Features:

  • Card: A7 sized folded greeting card (5" x 7")

  • Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock

  • Goodness: Acid and lignin free

  • Envelope: Includes an A7 sized plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25")

  • Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message

  • Shipping: USPS First-Class with an additional cardstock sheet for more shipping protection

Xanax & SSRI’s
Holiday/Boss’s Day
$6

Use the links below or the menu at the top navigation to see all our cards:

Blazer's Mill T-Shirts and Apparel Made in Texas

Crafted in Texas. Designed by Humans.

We're not here to blend in. In a world flooded with generic, AI-generated designs, we’re taking a stand for creativity that actually means something. Born and based in Texas, our company is fueled by human hands, sharp minds, and a relentless eye for detail. Every piece we create is original, intentional, and built to last — because good design shouldn't be soulless. Welcome to a brand that gives a damn.