Holiday Cards
Delightfully humous cards to bring cheer to all the holidays. halloween CARDS
This collection celebrates the weird, funny, chaotic side of spooky season with sarcasm, nostalgia, horror references, and just enough
emotional instability to feel festive.
Info:
Holiday-Halloween, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a horror movie-inspired Ghostface character in a red hoodie, set against a vibrant turquoise background covered in candy corn. A dangling cartoon spider adds to the Halloween chaos. Bold block typography reads: “WHAT?! I AIN’T GAY.”
Website Product Description:
A Chaotic Throwback to Early 2000s Comedy
If your sense of humor was permanently shaped by ridiculous movie quotes and the golden era of parody films, this card was made for you. Equal parts nostalgic, absurd, and wildly inappropriate in the best way, it’s a love letter to the kind of comedy that made you laugh until you couldn’t breathe — and probably shouldn’t have.
Perfect for horror fans, comedy lovers, Scary Movie devotees, and anyone who still quotes early 2000s parody films at completely inappropriate moments. Send it to the friend who will immediately get it, laugh too loud, and then feel slightly guilty about it.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
I Ain’t Gay
Holiday/Halloween
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Halloween, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold black-and-white halftone photo of a girl wearing headphones, unapologetically flipping off the viewer, set against a vivid orange background packed with playful illustrated ghosts. A small stick-figure chase scene adds to the chaos. Bold white typography reads: “You’d survive a horror movie out of pure stubbornness. Unless I was there too, and well, sorry.” Finished with a bold “Happy Halloween!” at the bottom.
Website Product Description:
You’d Survive a Horror Movie Out of Pure Stubbornness
Unless I was there too, and well, sorry.
This card is for your horror movie buddy, your best friend with main-character energy, or anyone who appreciates dark humor and a little playful roasting. Whether you’re celebrating Halloween or simply reminding someone they’re your favorite partner in bad decisions, this card is equal parts creepy, hilarious, and weirdly affectionate.
Perfect for the friend who would absolutely refuse to split up, who would go back for the cat, and who would somehow make it to the end credits through sheer force of personality — as long as you weren’t slowing them down.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Pure Stubbornness
Holiday/Halloween
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Halloween, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold, brightly colored hand-drawn monster in orange, pink, and black — all claws, jagged teeth, and wild eyes — set against a teal green chevron-stripe background. Scattered “Happy Halloween” text curves around the monster’s feet, and a tiny cartoon spider perches in the corner. Large hand-lettered typography at the top reads: “CREEP IT REAL.”
Website Product Description:
Some Jokes Are So Wonderfully Terrible, They’re Impossible Not to Appreciate
This is one of those jokes. “Creep it Real” earns an eye roll, followed immediately by a laugh — and that’s exactly the kind of Halloween energy we’re here for. It’s the bad dad joke that somehow lands every time, delivered by a monster who absolutely means it.
Perfect for monster lovers, Halloween enthusiasts, pun fans, and anyone who appreciates humor that’s equal parts cheesy and clever. Whether you’re sending Halloween wishes to a friend, coworker, family member, or your favorite pun-loving weirdo, this card is a fun reminder that sometimes the simplest jokes are the ones that stick.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Info:
Holiday-Halloween, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a stylish hand-drawn witch in a red dress and dramatic black hat, perched confidently on her broom, set against a soft pink background with scattered orange polka dots. Bold black hand-lettered typography reads: “Now seems like a perfectly acceptable time to hex your ex.” Finished with a bold “Happy Halloween!” at the bottom.
Website Product Description:
Breakups Are Hard. Being a Supportive Best Friend Is Hard. Accidentally Daydreaming About Harmless Revenge? Completely Understandable
This card delivers the perfectly unreasonable advice your friend didn’t know they needed: “Now seems like a perfectly acceptable time to hex your ex.” Equal parts sassy and supportive, it’s a playful way to help someone laugh through heartbreak, bad dating decisions, and the emotional roller coaster that comes with letting go of someone who probably wasn’t all that great to begin with.
Perfect for best friends, sisters, roommates, and anyone navigating the aftermath of a breakup with humor, snacks, and a healthy appreciation for witchy energy. Because while we don’t actually recommend hexing anyone, sometimes it’s nice to know your friends understand the temptation.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Hex Your Ex
Holiday/Halloween
$3.00/e
Creep it Real
Holiday/Halloween
$3.00/e
THANKSGIVING CARDS
Our Thanksgiving cards cover the full holiday spectrum, from family drama and questionable advice, to mildly inappropriate turkey-day humor and absurd nostalgia.
Info:
Holiday-Thanksgiving, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a colorful vintage-style chimpanzee juggling five emoji faces — shocked, dead-eyed, tongue-out, laughing, and stressed — against a playful pink background with blue maple leaves. Bold blue block typography at the top reads: “THANKSGIVING: WHERE EVERYONE BRINGS A SIDE DISH & UNRESOLVED ISSUES.” Finished with a flowing “Happy Thanksgiving” script at the bottom.
Website Product Description:
Some Families Bring Mashed Potatoes. Others Bring Decades of Emotional Baggage
This card is for anyone who’s mastered the art of smiling through awkward conversations, changing the subject at the right moment, and reaching for another dinner roll when things get tense. Sarcastic, relatable, and just absurd enough to make everyone at the table laugh — or at least knowingly nod.
Perfect for friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone who’s survived a holiday dinner with both a full plate and a full emotional load. Send it before the gathering as a knowing wink, or after as a shared debrief.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Side Dish & Issues
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Thanksgiving, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a hilariously familiar purple dinosaur parody hula-hooping enthusiastically on top of a glorious cylinder of canned cranberry jelly, set against a warm golden orange wavy background. Bold mixed typography reads: “TURKEY DAY stu-u-u-pendous ADVICE:” with the punchline in playful handwritten script: “Don’t look directly at the cranberry when it jiggles. I don’t trust it!”
Website Product Description:
Some Thanksgiving Traditions Make Perfect Sense. Canned Cranberry Sauce That Jiggles Like It’s Alive? Still Up for Debate
This card delivers the most important Turkey Day advice you didn’t know you needed: “Don’t look directly at the cranberry when it jiggles. I don’t trust it.” A perfect dose of nostalgic absurdity for anyone who grew up watching a certain beloved purple dinosaur — or lovingly endured countless episodes because their kids did.
Perfect for friends, family members, coworkers, and anyone who has strong opinions about canned cranberry sauce, Barney, or both. Send it to the person who will immediately picture that jiggle and laugh out loud.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Stu-u-u-pendous
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Thanksgiving, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a sweet vintage-style photo of a grandma in pink hair rollers and glasses, proudly presenting a golden homemade pie, set against a warm yellow background scattered with illustrated pie slices and tiny stars. Bold dark typography at the top reads: “MAY YOUR PIE BE BIGGER THAN YOUR FAMILY DRAMA.” Finished with a flowing white “Happy Thanksgiving” script across the bottom.
Website Product Description:
Every Family Has That One Recipe Everyone Fights Over… and That One Relative Everyone Tries to Avoid
This card delivers the most optimistic Thanksgiving wish possible: “May your pie be bigger than your family drama.” Equal parts nostalgic, sarcastic, and heartwarming, it’s a reminder that when all else fails, there’s always pie. And pie never argues about politics.
Perfect for friends, siblings, hosts, neighbors, coworkers, or anyone who’s survived a holiday dinner with both extra whipped cream and extra opinions. Send it to the person who will immediately understand exactly what you mean.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Info:
Holiday-Thanksgiving, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a glamorous illustrated lady turkey in fishnet stockings and black high heels, looking over her shoulder with a glass of “gravy” in hand, set against a bold orange background scattered with illustrated beer mugs. A tiny feather floats above her head. Bold white bubble typography reads: “TALK TURKEY TO ME” with a handwritten script below: “Happy Thanksgiving to You!” and two small pink hearts.
Website Product Description:
Thanksgiving Is a Time for Gratitude, Good Food, and the Occasional Shameless Turkey Flirtation
This cheeky card delivers the unforgettable line — “Talk Turkey To Me” — with all the confidence of a glamorous lady turkey who absolutely knows she’s the best thing at the table. Playful, a little flirty, and just the right amount of ridiculous to stand out from the sea of traditional Thanksgiving cards.
Perfect for a husband, boyfriend, partner, best friend, or anyone who appreciates a clever double entendre and a good holiday laugh. Send it to the person who will read it, groan, and then immediately show everyone else at the table.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Talk Turkey to Me
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$3.00/e
May Your Pie Be Bigger
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Thanksgiving, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold vintage-style letterpress illustration of a magnificent full-feathered turkey with cranberries, set against a retro teal pinstripe background. Classic red and cream typography reads in elegant mixed styles: “Family, Food -and- GASTROINTESTINAL CONSEQUENCES” with a bold banner at the bottom: “HAPPY THANKSGIVING.”
Website Product Description:
Thanksgiving Is All About Gratitude… and Testing the Upper Limits of the Human Digestive System
No holiday combines second helpings, awkward family conversations, and questionable food choices quite like Turkey Day. Whether it’s the stuffing, the pie, or Uncle Bob insisting you try his “secret recipe,” some traditions are simply unavoidable — and this card celebrates all of them with a healthy dose of honesty.
Perfect for friends, family members, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates sarcastic holiday humor and the universal experience of unbuttoning their pants after dinner. Send it to the person who will read it and immediately start planning their elastic-waistband outfit.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Gastrointestinal Consequences
Holiday/Thanksgiving
$3.00/e
CHRISTMAS CARDS
Whether you're feeling festive, financially concerned or emotionally fragile, our Christmas collection leans into what the holiday is actually like and somehow still finds reasons to laugh.
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold risograph-style illustration of a panicked man clutching an enormous BILL scroll while standing on the roof of a Texas grocery store, surrounded by floating dollar bills and snowflakes against a bright sky blue background. Bold comic-book typography reads: “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS… CHEAPER GROCERIES” with a green banner at the bottom adding: “(Hope you want something more realistic).”
Website Product Description:
Some Christmas Wishes Are Ambitious. Others Are Downright Impossible
These days, a full shopping cart feels like a luxury gift. This card delivers the painfully relatable message that’s on everyone’s mind this holiday season — with a wink, a sigh, and a receipt that’s way too long.
Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and especially fellow Texans who know the joy of a grocery store run — and the quiet devastation of checking out. Sarcastic, honest, and guaranteed to get a laugh from anyone who’s recently stared at their grocery receipt in disbelief.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Cheaper Groceries
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a charming hand-drawn snowman with wide innocent eyes, a carrot nose, twig arms, and three dark buttons, set against a cheerful green background scattered with orange confetti dots. Typewriter-style text at the top reads: “I have become emotionally attached to this decorative snowman” with a bold banner below: “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU”
Website Product Description:
Sometimes the Holidays Are Magical. Sometimes You’re One Sentimental Decoration Away from Having a Full-Blown Emotional Meltdown
This card is for the people who cry over nostalgic ornaments, refuse to throw away decorations from 1997, and somehow end up emotionally invested in an inanimate object every December. Sweet, silly, and refreshingly honest — because if loving a decorative snowman is wrong, maybe we don’t want to be right.
Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who’s equal parts festive, sentimental, and just a little emotionally fragile during the holidays.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Decorative Snowman
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a wide-eyed, bewildered cartoon Santa clutching his gift bag with both hands, set against a soft pink diagonal candy-cane stripe background. Bold hand-lettered black typography reads: “DEAR SANTA” at the top and “DEFINE NICE” in oversized letters below.
Website Product Description:
Not Everyone Ends Up on Santa’s Nice List… and Honestly, That’s Part of the Fun
This card is the perfect wink for anyone whose holiday spirit comes with a little sarcasm, a little mischief, and just enough plausible deniability. Equal parts festive and flirty, it’s a fun reminder that “nice” is open to interpretation — and Santa knows it.
Perfect for a spouse, partner, crush, best friend, or your favorite partner-in-crime. Send it to the person who will read it, raise an eyebrow, and immediately start negotiating their Nice List status.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Define Nice
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a delightfully bizarre vintage illustration of a merry band of musicians — horns, flutes, and all — crammed together on a golden crescent moon, floating against a deep cobalt blue background scattered with snowflakes and musical notes. Bold yellow slab-serif typography at the top reads: “HOPE YOU GET DRUNK ENOUGH TO TOLERATE EVERYONE” with a small grinning emoji face, and a flowing red script banner at the bottom reads: “Merry Christmas”
Website Product Description:
Christmas Is Magical… Right Up Until Everyone Arrives
This card is for anyone bracing for awkward conversations, unsolicited opinions, and that one family member who somehow turns Christmas dinner into a debate. Sarcastic, honest, and a little absurd — because sometimes surviving the holidays deserves its own celebration.
Perfect for friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone who’s ever needed a little liquid courage to make it through the appetizers. Send it to the person who will read it, laugh too hard, and immediately pour themselves a drink.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Drunk Enough
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features two deadpan illustrated faces — a woman in a red Santa hat with green earrings and a man in a green elf hat with a striped scarf — both wearing the exact same exhausted-but-game expression, set against a soft teal background with white polka dots. Bold black block typography reads: “THIS CARD COUNTS as FOREPLAY” with a candy-cane heart and “MERRY CHRISTMAS” below.
Website Product Description:
Between the Shopping, Decorating, Baking, Wrapping, and Pretending You’re Not Completely Exhausted…
Christmas has a funny way of draining just about everything. This card is a cheeky nod to couples who know that by the time December rolls around, surviving the holidays together is practically a love language. Sometimes lowering expectations is the most romantic gift of all.
Perfect for husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or partners who appreciate a little flirtation mixed with a healthy dose of reality. Sweet, silly, and just a little naughty — exactly the right card for the person who gets it.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
This Card Counts as Foreplay
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Christmas, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a delightfully overwhelmed gingerbread man soaking in a mug of warm milk, clutching a well-earned glass of red wine that’s mid-splash, set against a bright green background packed with colorful Christmas ornaments, snowflakes, and a cheerful red-and-white zigzag border. Bold hand-lettered black typography reads: “MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM SOMEONE REACHING THEIR SENSORY LIMITS”
Website Product Description:
Christmas Is Magical… Until You’ve Wrapped the 47th Present
You’ve answered the same question six times. You’ve been listening to the same holiday playlist since Thanksgiving. The lights are blinking at a frequency that feels personal. And somewhere between the third batch of cookies and the fourth family group chat notification, your Christmas spirit quietly packed a bag and left.
This card is for the moms, wives, best friends, coworkers, and anyone whose holiday cheer occasionally gets buried under the noise, the crowds, and the endless to-do list. Send it to the person who will read it, exhale deeply, and feel genuinely seen.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Sensory Limits
Holiday/Christmas
$3.00/e
VALENTINES DAY CARDS
Valentine’s Day cards that say “I love you” without sounding like a greeting card robot.
Honest, a little sarcastic, and actually meaningful cards for partners, crushes, and long-term situationships.
Info:
Holiday-Valentine’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold, detailed black-and-white pen-and-ink illustration of a majestic buck with a full rack of antlers, set against a faded graphic camo background in soft tans and sage greens. A pink cloud burst frames the bold retro script at the top: “Nice Rack” with pink stars on either side. Handwritten text below reads: “On the wall. (Obviously)” and “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Website Product Description:
Nice Rack… On the Wall. Obviously
If your man’s idea of a perfect weekend involves camo, a tree stand, and a trophy buck, this is the Valentine’s Day card he didn’t know he needed. Equal parts cheeky and clever, it says exactly what everyone’s thinking — with just enough plausible deniability to keep things interesting.
Perfect for wives and girlfriends of serious deer hunters, or anyone whose partner appreciates a good double entendre and a well-placed punchline. Send it to the man who has a mount on the wall and a sense of humor to match.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Nice Rack
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Valentine’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features an adorable photo of a fluffy Corgi puppy buried in a pile of red glitter hearts, wearing tiny heart-shaped glasses, set against a bold hot pink background with white wavy lines. Playful white bubble typography on the left reads: “You’re my person.” followed by: “don’t make it weird.” Bold black script at the top reads: “Valentine’s Day.”
Website Product Description:
We All Have Our Special Person
The one who gets it. The one you’d text first. The one who somehow makes everything better just by existing. This Valentine’s Day, tell them exactly how you feel — with just the right amount of sincerity and just enough sarcasm to keep things from getting too mushy.
Perfect for a spouse, significant other, best friend, or anyone who appreciates love delivered with a side of humor. Send it to the person who will read it, laugh, and immediately know it’s the most accurate thing you’ve ever said to them.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Don’t Make it Weird
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Valentine’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a sweet vintage illustration of a boy and girl in Edwardian dress sitting together at a duck pond, overlaid with a hand-sketched heart doodle, set against a soft blush pink background with scattered red and pink hearts. Bold black hand-lettered typography reads: “Happy Valentine’s Day!” at the top, with smaller stacked text on the right: “I’D CHOOSE YOU AGAIN — MOSTLY BECAUSE STARTING OVER SOUNDS EXHAUSTING”
Website Product Description:
Starting Over Sounds Exhausting
You’ve heard the stories. The apps. The first dates. The situationships. And honestly? Hard pass. You’d choose your person again — mostly because the alternative sounds like an absolute nightmare, but also because they’re genuinely your favorite human. This card says both things at once, which is basically the most romantic thing possible.
Perfect for spouses, long-term partners, and anyone over 40 who has watched the current dating scene from a safe distance and felt nothing but relief. Send it to the person who will read it, laugh, and feel completely, accurately loved.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
I’d Choose You Again
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Valentine’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold silhouette of a buck’s head with a full antler rack centered in a large white distressed heart, set against a classic green and tan camo background. Mixed bold typography in pink and white reads: “YOU’RE THE ONLY Thing I Want To MOUNT THIS YEAR” with a small hand-drawn pink heart at the top left and a flowing script in the corner: “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Website Product Description:
For the Man Who Has a Deer Mount and a Sense of Humor
If your husband, boyfriend, or current lover loves hunting and appreciates a good laugh, this is the Valentine’s Day card that delivers both. Bold, cheeky, and impossible to misread — in the best possible way.
Perfect for wives and girlfriends of deer hunters, or anyone whose partner will immediately appreciate a well-executed double entendre wrapped in camo. Send it to the man who will read it, grin, and keep it on his desk.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Mount
Holiday/Valentine’s Day
$3.00/e
mothers day cards
Mother’s Day cards that skip the clichés and say something real - whether that’s love, gratitude, sarcasm, or all three.
Info:
Holiday-Mother’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold vintage-style graphic of a glamorous woman in a leather jacket holding a megaphone, set against a bright yellow background with white swirling script patterns. A teal starburst halo frames her head. Bold circus-style letterpress typography at the top reads: “THANKS FOR NOT SELLING ME TO THE CIRCUS” with a red banner on the megaphone reading: “ANNOUNCING THE CIRCUS” and a bold red block on the left: “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!”
Website Product Description:
Now That You’re Old Enough to Look Back…
You get it. You really get it. The patience it took. The deep breaths. The moments she probably considered her options. And yet — here you are, not sold to the circus. That deserves a card.
Perfect for adult children who have finally developed enough self-awareness to appreciate what their mom put up with, and enough humor to say thank you in the most honest way possible.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
The Circus
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Mother’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a charming vintage Art Deco-style illustration of an elegantly dressed woman riding a decorated bull while holding a bunch of purple watercolor balloons, set against a warm salmon-pink background with soft off-white swirling patterns. Bold black hand-lettered typography at the top reads: “YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING” with a wavy underline, followed by: “DON’T GET USED TO IT” A framed box in the lower right reads: “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY”
Website Product Description:
She Was Right. You Know It. She Knows It. Time to Say It
Not about everything — let’s not get carried away. But about almost everything? Yeah. This card is the most honest Mother’s Day message you’ll ever send, delivered with just enough sarcasm to keep your dignity intact.
Perfect for adult children who have finally lived enough life to admit mom had a point, and who love her enough to say so — with a caveat.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
You Were Right
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Mother’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a real photo of a beach seagull with its head buried deep inside a weathered wooden fence post, wearing a light green masquerade mask graphic over the post opening, set against a soft lavender purple background with a bold repeating pattern of stylized graphic leaves. Bold mixed typography at the top reads: “THANKS FOR PRETENDING NOT TO NOTICE” in chunky outlined letters, followed by a flowing script: “everything!” Bold black text at the bottom left reads: “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM!”
Website Product Description:
Some Moms Keep Sane by Looking the Other Way
Also known as burying your head in the sand — sometimes a mom just has to pretend she doesn’t see things happening. And honestly? That’s a superpower. This card is a heartfelt, slightly absurd thank-you for every time she chose not to notice.
Perfect for the mom who loves the beach, loves birds, or simply loves her child enough to occasionally pretend she has no idea what’s going on. Send it to the best mom in the world — the one who saw everything and said nothing.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Thanks for Pretending
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Mother’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold collage of a vintage engraved illustration of a distinguished older gentleman holding a wild, chaotic yellow magical bird with a mohawk and attitude, set against a bright hot pink background scattered with strawberry hearts with silly faces. A hand-drawn sketch overlay adds to the chaotic energy. Bold bubble typography at the top reads: “Mom – THANK YOU” with a parenthetical on the left in handwritten script: “(We both know I was the difficult one)” and a small white smiley face below.
Website Product Description:
If You Were the Difficult One, Your Mom Deserves Two Cards
The wild child. The black sheep. The one who kept things interesting. This card is for the mom who loved you through all of it — the chaos, the questionable decisions, and the phases she’s probably still processing. She earned this thank-you, and she knows it.
Perfect for adult children who were a handful, are still a handful, or have at least developed enough self-awareness to acknowledge it. Send it to the mom who never gave up, even when she probably should have considered it.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
We Both Know
Holiday/Mother’s Day
$3.00/e
fathers day cards
Because fatherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither are these cards.
A mix of heartfelt, funny, and refreshingly unfiltered for the dads, stapdads, dad figures, and anyone else who showed up when it mattered.
Info:
Holiday-Father’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold vintage-style graphic of a classic baseball batter in a white uniform and helmet, mid-swing, set against a bold red polka-dot background with a teal upper panel and a cream wave divider. A black banner with gold serif lettering reads: “WOULD RECOMMEND” with oversized white block numbers at the top: “10/10” and a warm gold script at the bottom: “Happy Father’s Day!”
Website Product Description:
For the Dad Who Deserves a Five-Star Review
You’ve had years to evaluate the product. The verdict is in: 10/10, would recommend. Light-hearted, sarcastic, and just the right amount of absurd — this is the Father’s Day card for the dad who appreciates a good laugh as much as a good game.
Perfect for baseball-loving dads, sports fans, and any father whose kids have finally decided to leave him a glowing review. Send it to the dad who will read it, chuckle, and put it on his desk.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
10/10 Recommend
Holiday/Father’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Father’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold vintage-style illustration of a relaxed father reading a book in a camp chair while his frustrated son lies on the ground nearby, head in hands, with cartoon stress lines radiating from his head — set against a warm cream background with a subtle repeating white mustache pattern. Bold dark teal hand-lettered typography at the top reads: “I GET IT NOW” with a thick underline, followed by: “ANNOYING!” A bold orange banner at the bottom reads: “Happy Father’s Day” in white brush script.
Website Product Description:
You Finally Get It. And Yeah — It’s Annoying
All those years of dad saying “wait until you have kids” or “you’ll understand someday” — and now you do. And he was right. Which is somehow the most annoying part of all. This Father’s Day, acknowledge the moment with the most honest card you’ll ever send.
Perfect for camping-loving dads, outdoorsy fathers, and any dad who appreciates a good laugh and a long-overdue admission. Send it to the mustache-sporting, camp-chair-sitting dad who will read it, grin, and feel completely vindicated.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
I Get it Now
Holiday/Father’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Father’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a dramatic photo-realistic Bigfoot/Sasquatch mid-roar with arms raised, set against a bold light blue background with white wavy doodle stripe lines and a green swirling vortex behind him. Red four-pointed stars accent the corners. Bold chunky outlined white typography reads: “YOU MAKE IT LOOK… MANAGEABLE” and bold red brush script at the bottom reads: “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!” with teal arrow accents.
Website Product Description:
No Fluff. Straight to the Point. Exactly What Dad Deserves
Fatherhood is chaotic, exhausting, and occasionally terrifying — and yet somehow, he makes it look manageable. That’s not nothing. That’s actually everything. This card says it all without the sentimental overload, delivered by the most relatable creature in the Pacific Northwest.
Perfect for Bigfoot enthusiasts, cryptid fans, outdoorsy dads, and any father who appreciates humor that’s equal parts absurd and sincere. Send it to the dad who will immediately show it to everyone and then keep it forever.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Manageable
Holiday/Father’s Day
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Father’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold photo-realistic largemouth bass leaping off the right edge of the card, set against a vivid green background with dark teal wavy squiggle lines. Large bold white sans-serif typography fills the left side: “THE STEPDAD CARD AISLE SUCKS. I TRIED.” with smaller rounded white text at the bottom: “LOVE & THANK YOU ENJOY THE FISH”
Website Product Description:
You Went to the Card Aisle. You Looked. You Tried. This Is What Happened
The stepdad section is a wasteland of generic sentiments that don’t come close to capturing what you actually want to say. So here’s the honest version: you tried, you care, and you’re bringing fish. That’s love.
Perfect for fishing-loving stepdads, coastal dads, and any stepfather who appreciates humor over hallmark fluff. Send it to the stepdad who will read it, laugh out loud, and appreciate the honesty more than any sentimental card could ever deliver.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Stepdad Aisle
Holiday/Father’s Day
$3.00/e
MISCELLANOUS HOLIDAY CARDS
All the holidays that didn’t get their own category—yet. A growing collection of cards for moments that still matter.
Info:
Holiday-International Cat Day/Friendship, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
International Cat Day: August 8
Features a bold vintage-style illustration of a regal tabby cat wearing rainbow-lens sunglasses and a hand-drawn crown, set against a warm blush pink background with decorative stars and asterisks. Bold retro typography reads: “We both trust the cat over most people.”
Website Product Description:
Some Opinions Matter More Than Others
And we both know the cat’s is at the top of the list. This card is for the friends who share the same priorities, the same sense of humor, and a healthy, well-earned distrust of most people. You don’t need to explain it. They already get it.
Perfect for everyday moments, inside jokes, National Cat Day, or any occasion where you want to celebrate a friendship built on mutual values — specifically, that the cat’s judgment is simply better.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Cat Over People
National Cat Day
⏰ August 8
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-National Ice Cream Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
National Ice Cream Day: 3rd Sunday in July
Features a vintage photo of a young child in a red polka-dot bucket hat and blue plaid shirt, completely committed to devouring a chocolate-dipped ice cream popsicle with zero self-consciousness, set against a soft pistachio green background scattered with illustrated ice cream bars and ghost pops. Bold chunky black hand-lettered typography at the top reads: “ICE CREAM DAY” with stacked black text on the right: “EAT IT LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING.” followed by: “NOT EVERYONE WILL GET IT.”
Website Product Description:
Opt Out of Performing. Opt Into Ice Cream
This card is for the ones who don’t need an audience, don’t need approval, and definitely don’t need a bowl. A little absurd, a little freeing, and fully justified — because not every decision requires a second opinion. Especially the ones involving dessert.
Perfect for best friends, coworkers, siblings, or anyone who has ever eaten ice cream directly from the container while standing in front of the freezer at midnight and felt zero regret. Send it to the person who will immediately understand and feel deeply seen.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
No One is Watching
National Ice Cream Day
⏰ July 18
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Easter, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold vintage halftone-style illustration of a grumpy, wide-eyed Easter bunny in purple with dramatic long ears, set against a soft blush pink background scattered with illustrated orange carrots and pink and lavender polka dots. Bold black display typography at the top reads: “EASTER” with handwritten black text on the left: “PROOF THAT CHOCOLATE IS A VALID COPING STRATEGY” and a teal hand-drawn heart with: “HAPPY EASTER!!” at the bottom. Vintage collage-inspired design.
Website Product Description:
The Easter Bunny Is Here to Validate Your Choices
Have to spend the day with in-laws? Too many screaming kids? Nowhere near enough alone time? The Easter Bunny understands. Science has spoken, and the verdict is in: chocolate is a perfectly acceptable coping strategy. Hide some extra eggs for yourself — or just hide the whole bag in a bush. No judgment here.
Perfect for friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone who treats the Easter candy haul as a personal mental health resource. Send it to the person who will immediately relate and then go find their secret stash.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Info:
Holiday-St. Patrick’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a joyful vintage-style illustration of a red-bearded leprechaun in a green coat, gold vest, and striped stockings, mid-dance beside a bubbling cauldron overflowing with gold coins, set against a bold full-spectrum rainbow background in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Bold dark green slab-serif typography at the top reads: “I GOT MY RAINBOW BACK!” with white script below: “Happy St. Patrick’s Day ☘️ ” Vintage collage-inspired design.
Website Product Description:
Mr. Leprechaun Finally Got His Rainbow Back — and He’s Not Taking It for Granted
For the last few years, his rainbow has been held hostage. But not anymore! He’s dancing, he’s got his pot of gold, and he’s wishing everyone a very happy St. Patrick’s Day with the energy of someone who has been waiting a long time for this moment.
Perfect for a friend, buddy, coworker, or anyone with a sense of humor and a soft spot for a triumphant leprechaun. Send it to the person who will immediately get it and appreciate the comeback energy.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Got My Rainbow
St. Patrick’s Day
⏰ March 17
$3.00/e
Easter is Proof
Easter
⏰ March 28
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-International Dog Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
International Dog Day: August 26
Features a close-up photo of an extremely cool golden dog wearing oversized green tinted sunglasses, set against a bold orange background with subtle light orange horizontal texture lines. Bold mixed typography lists the dream lifestyle: “IF ONLY it was SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO:” followed by a numbered list: #1 Smell like a skunk / #2 Smell eachother’s butts / #3 Lick eachother’s privates / #4 Never wear clothes / #5 Eat litter covered cat shit. Bold purple brush script at the bottom reads: “Happy Dog Day!”
Website Product Description:
Honestly, Dogs May Have the Right Idea
No social filters. No dress code. No shame. Just pure, unhinged authenticity — and a lifestyle that, when you really think about it, sounds kind of freeing. This card leans fully into the chaos, celebrating the weird, gross, lovable habits that make dogs iconic and humans secretly jealous.
Perfect for dog lovers with an unhinged sense of humor and a deep appreciation for creatures who truly do not care what anyone thinks. Send it to the person who will read the list, laugh out loud, and immediately text it to their dog group chat.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
If Only
International Dog Day
⏰ August 25
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-Boss’s Day, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Boss’s Day: Closest weekday to October 16
Features a bold vintage engraving of Rodin’s The Thinker — reimagined as a mischievous devil deep in contemplation — set against a bright yellow sunburst background scattered with colorful illustrated capsule pills in pink, blue, orange, and green. Bold typewriter-style black typography fills the card: “I KEEP MY RESUME UPDATED JUST IN CASE YOU START TAKING XANAX AND SSRI’S” with a cheerful blue handwritten script at the bottom: “Happy Boss’s Day!”
Website Product Description:
For the Rare Leader Who’s Somehow Kept the Workplace (Mostly) Sane
You appreciate them. You respect them. You also keep your resume polished and ready — just in case. Because if the boss ever loses it, everyone else is updating LinkedIn by lunch. This card says the quiet part loud, with love.
Perfect for bosses with a great sense of humor, supportive managers, small business owners, and work teams who know that laughter is sometimes the best coping mechanism. Send it to the boss who will read it, laugh, and immediately wonder if you’re serious.
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Xanax & SSRI’s
Boss’s Day
⏰ October 16
$3.00/e
Info:
Holiday-New Years, $3.00/each, 6-pack ($18.00 total)
Features a bold, retro-inspired illustration of a dumpster literally engulfed in colorful flames, set against a bright yellow background scattered with playful confetti, streamers, and vintage-style bursts. Large, distressed black lettering at the top boldly declares “WHAT THE FUUCK”, while cheerful handwritten-style black script at the bottom reads “Happy New Year.” The combination of celebratory New Year’s imagery and a dumpster fire creates the perfect sarcastic commentary on making it through another year.
Website Product Description:
Cheers to Another Year We Somehow Survived
Another year is in the books, and honestly… what the fuuck? For the friend, coworker, sibling, partner, or fellow survivor who knows that New Year’s optimism is sometimes just pretending the dumpster isn’t on fire, this card delivers the appropriate amount of sarcasm. It’s festive. It’s colorful. It says Happy New Year! — while also acknowledging that maybe we should all just be impressed we made it this far.
Perfect for the sarcastic optimist, the chronic overthinker, the friend who has had a year, or anyone who appreciates a little dark humor with their champagne. Because sometimes ringing in the New Year isn't about fresh starts and resolutions. Sometimes it's about looking at the wreckage, laughing, and saying, “Well, we’re still here.”
Specifications:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Packaging: Card, envelope enclosed in clear cello sleeve for protection and presentation
Inside: Blank
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
USPS Ground Advantage, 7×6×2 literature mailer (shipped together with minimum order). Wholesale orders generally ship within 3-5 days.
Dumpster Fire
New Years
⏰ Dec 31/Jan 1
$3.00/e
Crafted in Texas. Designed by Humans.
We're not here to blend in. In a world flooded with generic, AI-generated designs, we’re taking a stand for creativity that actually means something. Born and based in Texas, our company is fueled by human hands, sharp minds, and a relentless eye for detail. Every piece we create is original, intentional, and built to last — because good design shouldn't be soulless. Welcome to a brand that gives a damn.
