Birthday Cards
Yay! Birthdays! Celebrate the big day with a humorous or somewhat snarky birthday card. A collection of fire farting skunks to sugary cupcakes... we've got just the right card for the birthday gal or guy. 
For the Friend Who Does the Most — and Somehow Survives
You know the one. The friend who makes questionable decisions, lives life at full volume, and somehow keeps going. This card is for them. Equal parts sarcastic and celebratory, Iconic says exactly what everyone's thinking but no one has the nerve to put on a card.
With a retro 70s–90s vibe and a digitally cut-and-stitched navy blue mad scientist front and center, this card is a love letter to the chaotic, the bold, and the gloriously unhinged. Bonus points if they're a sucker for retro aesthetics.
About the Card:
The front features a navy blue illustration of a mad scientist, digitally cut and stitched, holding a beaker with the message: "You're still alive! Iconic. Happy B-Day." The background is filled with bold yellow lightning bolts for maximum dramatic effect.
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
Iconic
Birthday
$6
For Adults Only — Say What Everyone’s Actually Thinking
Skip the sentimental verse. This bold, collage-style birthday card gets straight to the point — and your recipient will love you for it. Whether it’s your best friend, a sibling, or that coworker with an excellent sense of humor, this card delivers the birthday message they actually deserve.
About the Card:
The front features a bold halftone hand holding a sprinkle cupcake with a birthday candle, set against a bright yellow-orange background covered in cartoon cats. The greeting reads: “Happy Birthday, Mother F**ker.” Collage-style design with maximum personality.
⚠️ Mature content. Intended for adults only.
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
Happy Birthday, Motherf**er
Birthday
$6
The Card That Says It Like It Is
Straight from the mind of a 17-year-old with impeccable comedic instincts — this card is for the friend who can take a joke and dish one right back. Bold, sarcastic, and just the right amount of rude, You Kinda Suck, BTW is the birthday card for people who are over the generic stuff.
Perfect for a best friend, sibling, or that coworker who definitely doesn’t take life too personally.
Don’t know what to say? Don’t know how to say it? Have a slightly cringe-worthy sense of humor? Say what everyone is thinking but is afraid to.
About the Card:
The front features a bold graphic of an angry skunk paired with a hand-drawn fire explosion, set against a bright yellow-orange background. The message reads: “Happy Birthday! To You! You Kinda Suck, BTW.” Collage-style design with serious attitude.
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
You Kinda Suck, BTW
Birthday
$6
For the friend you’re honestly surprised is still a free citizen
You know the one. The friend who parties a little too hard, drinks a little too much, and somehow keeps getting away with it. This card is your annual acknowledgment of their miraculous freedom – and a gentle wish that their luck holds out one more year.
ABOUT THE CARD:
The front features a bold collage-style design of a woman behind jail bars, holding a wine bottle and a cocktail, with the message: "Congrats! You survived another year without being arrested." Bring, chaotic, and perfectly on-brand for that one friend.
CARD DETAILS:
Card: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb/300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-Friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 kraft square flap & self-sealing envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank - for your own awesome, witty message
SHIPPING:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
You’re Lucky (Arrested)
Birthday
$6
For the Friend Who Defies All Logic — and Keeps Getting Away With It
Every group has one. The person who does the dumbest things, somehow lacks basic common sense, and yet miraculously survives another year. This card is Darwin’s way of saying happy birthday.
Whether they’re your best friend, a family member, or that coworker who makes you question everything, this card says what you’ve all been thinking: it’s genuinely impressive they’ve made it this far.
About the Card:
The front features a gleefully reckless guy riding a shopping cart in a bike helmet with his hands in the air, set against a bold blue floral background. The message reads: “Happy Birthday. I’m honestly surprised ‘survival of the fittest’ hasn’t kicked in yet.” Collage-style design with maximum chaotic energy.
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
Survival of the Fittest
Birthday
$6
Because Some Things Never Change
No matter how old they get, moms always remember the little things — like that one time they couldn't find their shoes. This funny, heartfelt birthday card is made for moms who want to say "Happy Birthday" with a side of nostalgia and a whole lot of love.
Perfect for sons of any age, this card blends humor, warmth, and just the right amount of "I told you so" energy — without being overly sentimental.
About the Card:
The front features a toddler mid-tantrum on a living room rug, paired with the words: "No matter how old you get, I'll always remember when you couldn't find your shoes." The design has a fun 90s vibe — perfect for kids born in the 80s or 90s — with a warm background and playful little monster faces scattered throughout.
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
Lost Your Shoes
Birthday
$6
No Crystal Ball Required
Some futures are easy to predict: a gaming controller, a comfortable chair, and the quiet denial that any of this makes you old. This card gets it — and so will he.
The front delivers the setup: “I don’t need a crystal ball to see your future.” Open it up for the punchline: “Happy Birthday, Old Man.” Equal parts nostalgic, sarcastic, and playfully insulting — perfect for the guy who’s aging but still insists he’s “just one more level away.”
Perfect for husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons, best friends, coworkers, or anyone who’s been gaming long enough to remember blowing into cartridges.
About the Card:
The front features a young gamer on a bold red background scattered with fortune cookies. The inside reveals a cartoon of a guy kicked back at his computer with the message: “Happy Birthday, Old Man.”
Card Details:
Size: A7 folded greeting card (5" x 7")
Paper: 110lb / 300gsm smooth white cardstock
Eco-friendly: Acid and lignin free
Envelope: A7 plain brown kraft square flap envelope (5.25" x 7.25") included
Inside: Blank — for your own awesome, witty message
Shipping & Turnaround Time:
To keep costs low for you, we ship via USPS First-Class mail. We ask for a 3-day processing time, although each order generally ships within 1-2 days.
Fortune
Birthday
$6
Use the links below or the menu at the top navigation to see all our cards:
Crafted in Texas. Designed by Humans.
We're not here to blend in. In a world flooded with generic, AI-generated designs, we’re taking a stand for creativity that actually means something. Born and based in Texas, our company is fueled by human hands, sharp minds, and a relentless eye for detail. Every piece we create is original, intentional, and built to last — because good design shouldn't be soulless. Welcome to a brand that gives a damn.
